From a hall of fame music career to fantasy sports ownership, it's clear that Chaka Khan's mouth with remain wide open. Recent comments by Matt Crosby -- owner and coach of the Spam Forwarders -- have quote, "lit a fire," under Chaka Khan's ass.
"That's right, he's gone and lit a fire right under my ass sayin what he said."
These were the words of Chaka Khan after reading quotes from Matt Crosby, who claims to have lost on purpose to Amanda Bennett's team out of the goodness of his heart. At first glance they seem harmless, but to a Chaka Khan team heading into a match-up of undefeateds against Bennett, Crosby's remarks were not too welcome. The interview was surreal, and the feeling was something a reporter might experience when interviewing a pulverizing figure like Mike Tyson, never knowing what to expect. Once we arrived at the Chaka Khan estate we were allowed no further than the front lawn, as Chaka Khan's superstitions had her yelling from her second floor bathroom window.
"Don't you walk any further! We're 3-0 baby and I won't have you walking up into my house and messin up my groove."
Needless to say, the interview proceeded with reporters on the front lawn and Chaka Khan answering questions from the bathroom window. At times during the chaotic interview, Chaka Khan appeared to be so far beside herself due to Crosby's remarks that she became somewhat nonsensical.
"Listen, when I see a door I'm goin through it first not thinkin about anybody but Chaka Khan. Get that chivalry out of my face! Get it out of my face! We win baby, Chaka Khan!"
When asked about the teams close game with the lowly Dozers, and whether or not the team underperformed, Chaka Khan was dismissive, and continued to steer the interview back toward Matt Crosby and the Spam Forwarders.
"Caught The Dozers dozin, that's what. Why try your hardest when you don't have to, and that's all I have to say about that. And you can go tell that Crosby that I'll forward some spam right up in his chivalric face! Man, woman, transexual, we win baby, Chaka Khan doesn't discriminate."
When asked about the team's performance against Snotbubbles III, Chaka Khan didn't hesitate.
"You saw what happened, no need to ask about it. Snotbubbles just got his nose wiped, that's what."
The interview spiraled from there into more nonsensical jabs at Crosby, The Spam Forwarders, and their chivalry, before Chaka Khan unexpectedly cried out, "Chaka Khan! We just win baby!" and then slammed the window shut.
However chaotic, however misguided or misunderstood, Chaka Khan has sent a message to the league. And while other teams may toil away, victims of their own moral values, all Chaka Khan will do is continue to win.
Chaka Khan!
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